This morning I was taken back to a time in the hospital with a loved one who had survived a near death experience. While the loved one was alive, there was an injury that the doctors didn't think would heal completely, if at all. Now comes true confession time: I didn't believe this injury was going to heal either. In fact (this is the really shocking part) I was unable to even pray for the healing of this injury because I believed that because it was self-inflicted, God couldn't answer such a prayer. In my mind, He was as angry as I was, and therefore He couldn't work a miracle. After all, He is a just God, and even though He doesn't punish us, we do have to suffer the consequences of our bad choices (can anyone else relate to this line of thinking?) It never occurred to me to ask God what He was going to do. My mind was made up. I thought I knew Him. I thought He was like me.
I remember the very moment when I found out that not only was God healing the injury, He was going to heal it completely with no repercussions or long-lasting issues. I was shocked. My first thought was "But I didn't even pray!!" I remember Him saying to me "Yes, but I am healing...because this is who I Am. And I love to heal!" It was so profound, that I had to hide in the corner while the tears were flowing, in utter awe of His goodness and kindness toward us when we don't deserve it. And get this: even when we haven't asked.
That moment forever changed me. Because, think about it now...do we ever deserve the wonderful things God freely gives us? When had my gospel become so skewed as to imagine that if I didn't pray, if I didn't ask...if I'm not knocking, and fasting, and grunting and groaning and mustering up the right amount of faith, then God can't do anything. I didn't earn it! Me, me, me!!
That is how sneaky religion is...it teaches us that God needs us to pray, and to "do" things right, in order for Him to move. Like somehow we tie His hands when we don't pray, or "position ourselves" (don't even get me started on that phrase) correctly. So we must go to God, we must pray to God, out of duty...the understanding being that if we don't, then He is unable to carry out His plans upon the earth. The beauty of relationship is replaced by the drudgery of duty. (Kiss the lucky rabbit's foot and all will be well.)
Here's the thing, the reality I have experienced is so much greater and more beautiful than any such fear-based obligation.
There is a popular saying that has bothered me since I first heard it, "Prayer works." Hmm, isn't the truth that God works? And that He is working all of the time, constantly working salvation in the midst of the earth, and always working in us to bring Jesus out of us? Yes, I know what people mean when they say it, and yes I know it is only semantics...but is it really? To say "prayer works" puts it all back on us. I prayed, therefore this happened. Prayer works! Well then what happens when we prayed and what we wanted didn't happen? Did prayer not work? And if not, then isn't our ultimate conclusion that we didn't pray right? And if we didn't pray right so prayer didn't work, then don't we often give up praying at all?
Maybe our perception of prayer is a little twisted. Is prayer wanting something, then going to God with our list (sort of like sitting on Santa's lap at Christmas time) and telling God what we want, how we think things should be in our lives and the lives of others, and then with a quick "amen" going off believing that God will give us what we want? Does He ask us to partner with Him, or are we asking Him to partner with us? It is such a subtle difference...
I believe the reality is this: God draws us to Himself, then He chooses to trust us, like a good friend. In His humility and goodness, He desires for us to become so close to Him that we are "in the know" about what He is doing on the earth, and in those whom we love. And once we have gotten to know Him, and developed this close relationship, He invites us to partner with Him, to "pray" and see these wonderful things come about. It is all Him...but because He wants us to have glimpses of the Kingdom, and of real life, He lets us in on His secret workings upon the earth. He gives us assignments, directives, and purpose that will help further His Kingdom. Wow, the God of the Universe wants to hang out with us, to "chill" with us, and let us in on what He is up to! It isn't about our doing it "right" (praying, positioning, whatever) in order to see Him move...because He is always moving, with or without us. But how much more fun it is to be a part of His workings! It's like the boss calling you into his office to share his plans for the company with you, and then giving you his strategies to advance in the company! How amazing would that be?
Ultimately, had I prayed back then...I would have gotten to experience the Supernatural wonder of getting to partner with Him to see the ultimate manifestation of healing, and that would have been amazing. He would have shown me that He was planning on healing my loved one, and I would have been privileged to agree with Him for that to happen. But...even though I wasn't able to believe for it, He still healed...because that is who HE is!! And...He didn't berate me for not praying... instead He just showed me a greater measure of His character, which built up my faith in Him!
Prayer is amazing, and fun! And as we sit with Him learning of His secrets our relationship with Him grows, our love for Him grows, and our knowledge of His character grows; until when we pray we are no longer asking for what we want, but we are agreeing with what He wants (which is always way better anyway). I think that is pretty cool. "Prayer works" but maybe not in the way we think it does. Prayer works to get us closer to Him where we can learn more about who He is, and become more like Him. He is a good God who is always working good throughout the earth, in spite of us.
God works!!
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