Earlier this week as I pulled into our driveway, a nice Hispanic man approached me and gave me his card. He said he needed work, gardening, pruning, etc . and that he even "does windows". So when hubby came home I passed the card and info on to him.
Later on while sitting on our balcony with our glass of wine (for purely medicinal reasons), hubby with his stogy (because he looks really cool and pensive), we noticed the nice Hispanic man was loading up his truck next door. So he went down and talked to him about pulling out all of the ugly lopped off arborvitae trees that line the back yard. We had discussed early on how ugly the trees were, and how a fence would be much nicer. But.....once he hired the guy he realized that besides paying him for his work, he would need to buy materials for the fence, and he tried to cancel. He called, and they had a nice chat wherein dear hubby tried to make it clear that we just don't have the extra funds to hire him at this time. Evidently, he didn't understand because he showed up the next day and began pulling out the trees....in the pouring rain. Wow, what a hard worker! And what are we gonna do now? Oh well.
Anyway, the trees are gone and while it looks really nice without them, we are exposed! I am thankful that our neighbors live "below" us (in case you haven't heard, we are a "city on a hill", and I am the Queen of Medford) but still.....it feels so different, so "bare". Oh well. We are exposed. Deal with it.
It makes me laugh because God continues to expose me daily. He requires me to live totally transparent and completely exposed, my life is an open book. He is teaching me that He is my Defender, and also my Safety. The trees seem to be a physical example of how I have felt in this process. And you know the funny thing? The neighbor gal was talking to Sean (what a funny name for a Hispanic gardener) while he was finishing up, and I saw her out there (because I can see everything now that the trees are gone) and I waved from my sliding doors in the hallway (because now she can also see me), and opened the doors because she was talking. She was saying how nice it is with the trees removed, how she will be able to see my lilac hedge now and it is so pretty in full bloom.
And I thought, "Wow, what a picture of us, a physical example of how God desires us to live."
Because others can only see our true beauty when we are transparent and exposed......
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Goodness Gracious
Lately I have been struck with a rather disturbing realization. We have been duped. We "carriers of the gospel", ambassadors, Christians, whatever the current term to describe believers in Christ....we have bought into a lie. It is a lie of "entitlement". There is something in us that assumes that we deserve the best, or the biggest, or we deserve to be the first in line, or the richest....all because we are Christians? Americans? What? Where did this lie come in?
What has struck me most while watching the footage of our dear brothers and sisters in Japan is how very polite and orderly they are. In the midst of this horrible tragedy, they continue to conduct themselves with such dignity and graciousness. It is a beautiful thing to behold. I think of the looting and ugly behavior that goes on here in my own country any time there is a disaster, and I am ashamed.
You might think, yes but the looters are clearly not Christians! We would not behave that way! I say go to any conference and you will see our "entitlement mentality" on full display. We storm the doors and run into the building elbowing others to get the cushy seats, or the ones nearest the front. We want the best parking spots, we desire the things of this world with the same fervor as those to whom we are to be exampling the character of Jesus.
I have been thinking about graciousness, and what it is. We would all agree that our Lord and everything about Him is full of grace. He is the most gracious Man who ever walked the earth.....kind, gentle, generous in spirit, merciful, compassionate and thankful. All of these traits describe our Lord. But do they describe us? I confess to you that upon close examination of my own life and behavior I fear I do not find a person whom others would describe as gracious first and foremost. In my weak moments, I find that I want the best for myself. I don't often want to play nice and share.
I am determined to change and grow into someone who exudes this beautiful trait. I believe thankfulness is the key. It is difficult to complain while being thankful. It is hard to put my wants first while in a conscious state of thankfulness for the abundance that I already possess. When was the last time you thanked someone for a simple kindness? Or thanked someone for doing their job? Or thanked a family member for a meal or a clean home or working so hard to pay the bills? Goodness gracious.....what a lovely way to be!
What has struck me most while watching the footage of our dear brothers and sisters in Japan is how very polite and orderly they are. In the midst of this horrible tragedy, they continue to conduct themselves with such dignity and graciousness. It is a beautiful thing to behold. I think of the looting and ugly behavior that goes on here in my own country any time there is a disaster, and I am ashamed.
You might think, yes but the looters are clearly not Christians! We would not behave that way! I say go to any conference and you will see our "entitlement mentality" on full display. We storm the doors and run into the building elbowing others to get the cushy seats, or the ones nearest the front. We want the best parking spots, we desire the things of this world with the same fervor as those to whom we are to be exampling the character of Jesus.
I have been thinking about graciousness, and what it is. We would all agree that our Lord and everything about Him is full of grace. He is the most gracious Man who ever walked the earth.....kind, gentle, generous in spirit, merciful, compassionate and thankful. All of these traits describe our Lord. But do they describe us? I confess to you that upon close examination of my own life and behavior I fear I do not find a person whom others would describe as gracious first and foremost. In my weak moments, I find that I want the best for myself. I don't often want to play nice and share.
I am determined to change and grow into someone who exudes this beautiful trait. I believe thankfulness is the key. It is difficult to complain while being thankful. It is hard to put my wants first while in a conscious state of thankfulness for the abundance that I already possess. When was the last time you thanked someone for a simple kindness? Or thanked someone for doing their job? Or thanked a family member for a meal or a clean home or working so hard to pay the bills? Goodness gracious.....what a lovely way to be!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Familiarity Breeds Contempt
We've all heard the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt" and if you are like me, you have always understood it to mean that the more we get to know another person, or the more familiar we become with them, the more in danger we are of despising them. I am experiencing another meaning of this phrase being played out in my life.
I confess that there are many aspects of life where I enjoy a certain "sameness". Yet while I resist change, I also delight in it. It is a strange paradigm in which I am trying to learn to live.
God is never changing, yet He is always new. There it is again, that paradigm. So here am I, this mere mortal who lived for over 20 years in the very same house, on the very same property, in the very same (and very small) town, went to the very same church (and the very first church I'd attended) all of those over 20 years. Take this same woman, and shake her up like a cup of dice in a game of Yahtzee and what do you get? A LOT of changes in a very short span of time. One would think that I would have gotten used to change in these past 5 years. But that is where it gets sticky. While I have loved the adventure and the excitement of all these changes, I find that I still have this deep-rooted expectation that things will somehow calm down now and remain the same....at least for a while. And I am confronted daily with the realization that this may not be the case.
So today I am thinking of the Israelites and all of their 40 years of desert wandering. And I am laughing at them because I see myself reflected in their plight. I understand now that maybe they weren't particularly "lost" in the desert, but perhaps more comfortable there and unwilling to leave! I realize that I am constantly trying to be comfortable in whatever place I find myself, and seldom do I desire to leave and move on toward my promised land. And how strange is that? Why would I rather be in a desert than in a land flowing with milk and honey? Because, as I have learned, I would rather be here in the familiar than venture into the unknown.
There is a price to pay going into the unknown. Everything is different. Nothing "feels" comfortable and familiar. And there it is. I want things how they are, I like comfortable....so that I don't have to think, or be on my toes, or awake, or present or aware....of God? Isn't that the danger? Is that perhaps why He continues to prod us on, to move us out into the unknown?
Remember, "familiarity breeds contempt." When we become too familiar with our circumstances or "life as we know it" we also tend to become "scornful".....or another meaning of contempt is "lack of respect or reverence" and oh my, that would not be a good thing at all. So while I confess to you that I often grow weary of all of this change, I am thankful that it keeps me clinging to the One who never changes, and as I cling to Him in reverence He sustains me....yes, even in the midst of all that is unfamiliar. His love never changes. And I am learning that is the only thing in this ever-changing life on which I can rely.
I confess that there are many aspects of life where I enjoy a certain "sameness". Yet while I resist change, I also delight in it. It is a strange paradigm in which I am trying to learn to live.
God is never changing, yet He is always new. There it is again, that paradigm. So here am I, this mere mortal who lived for over 20 years in the very same house, on the very same property, in the very same (and very small) town, went to the very same church (and the very first church I'd attended) all of those over 20 years. Take this same woman, and shake her up like a cup of dice in a game of Yahtzee and what do you get? A LOT of changes in a very short span of time. One would think that I would have gotten used to change in these past 5 years. But that is where it gets sticky. While I have loved the adventure and the excitement of all these changes, I find that I still have this deep-rooted expectation that things will somehow calm down now and remain the same....at least for a while. And I am confronted daily with the realization that this may not be the case.
So today I am thinking of the Israelites and all of their 40 years of desert wandering. And I am laughing at them because I see myself reflected in their plight. I understand now that maybe they weren't particularly "lost" in the desert, but perhaps more comfortable there and unwilling to leave! I realize that I am constantly trying to be comfortable in whatever place I find myself, and seldom do I desire to leave and move on toward my promised land. And how strange is that? Why would I rather be in a desert than in a land flowing with milk and honey? Because, as I have learned, I would rather be here in the familiar than venture into the unknown.
There is a price to pay going into the unknown. Everything is different. Nothing "feels" comfortable and familiar. And there it is. I want things how they are, I like comfortable....so that I don't have to think, or be on my toes, or awake, or present or aware....of God? Isn't that the danger? Is that perhaps why He continues to prod us on, to move us out into the unknown?
Remember, "familiarity breeds contempt." When we become too familiar with our circumstances or "life as we know it" we also tend to become "scornful".....or another meaning of contempt is "lack of respect or reverence" and oh my, that would not be a good thing at all. So while I confess to you that I often grow weary of all of this change, I am thankful that it keeps me clinging to the One who never changes, and as I cling to Him in reverence He sustains me....yes, even in the midst of all that is unfamiliar. His love never changes. And I am learning that is the only thing in this ever-changing life on which I can rely.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Not Feeling Like a Winner
Allow me to preface this blog post by saying that I am not here to judge anyone. I felt led to write not because the story is all over the media and I want to jump on that band wagon. I think I mostly needed to face something and in doing so cleanse my heart.
There have been so many jokes, so many references to Charlie Sheen that one would have to live in a cave to have missed the story. We don't even have cable TV, yet I know what's been going on with the man. And while we all want to make light of it, joking about his tirades and ridiculous sayings, me included, I have to say that if I look at the situation.....I mean really look at it without the laughter.....it brings me to tears.
I have faced that same horrible demon or sickness or whatever we are most comfortable calling it. I have sat and listened to the very same tirades and egotistical rants, and have looked into the wild eyes of someone knowing I wasn't looking into familiar eyes, I was looking into other eyes all together. It was the worst nightmare of my life.
So, I have to ask myself why am I able to jump on the silly train making fun of this man when it hits so close to home with me? I think it is probably because to laugh and make light of things is way easier than looking at them in all of their ugliness.
Alcoholism and drug abuse are ugly. Anyone who has been exposed to an addict's behavior most likely recognizes the same thing that I see in Mr. Sheen. It is dark, evil, ugly, and destructive. It hurts everyone around who tries to love and help, and it's ultimate goal is death. Not a laughing matter at all.
I am thankful that my loved one was not wealthy and had no means to perpetuate their facade this far. But I can say that they did have plenty of people around them who tolerated.....no, encouraged their over the top destructive behavior. It has always been the way of the insecure bully to revel in another person's destruction in order to take everyone's eyes off of their own.
How awful that I even for a few minutes was a party to such behavior. Because I know and realize full well that this man has a family.....a family who are probably out there right now trying their best to devise a plan of rescue....a family awake at night praying to whatever god they hold dear for the life of their loved one. A family dreading the ringing of their phones and the bad news that might be lurking on the other end. A family who is terrified that their loved one might not ever make it back, might not ever return to them as they knew him. I know this terror first hand and my heart aches for them.
So I for one, will no longer subject you to jokes about this sad situation, nor will I be a party to the media frenzy. If I speak of Charlie Sheen at all, it will be to lift him up before the Throne of grace, and pray for the healing love of God to overwhelm him.
There have been so many jokes, so many references to Charlie Sheen that one would have to live in a cave to have missed the story. We don't even have cable TV, yet I know what's been going on with the man. And while we all want to make light of it, joking about his tirades and ridiculous sayings, me included, I have to say that if I look at the situation.....I mean really look at it without the laughter.....it brings me to tears.
I have faced that same horrible demon or sickness or whatever we are most comfortable calling it. I have sat and listened to the very same tirades and egotistical rants, and have looked into the wild eyes of someone knowing I wasn't looking into familiar eyes, I was looking into other eyes all together. It was the worst nightmare of my life.
So, I have to ask myself why am I able to jump on the silly train making fun of this man when it hits so close to home with me? I think it is probably because to laugh and make light of things is way easier than looking at them in all of their ugliness.
Alcoholism and drug abuse are ugly. Anyone who has been exposed to an addict's behavior most likely recognizes the same thing that I see in Mr. Sheen. It is dark, evil, ugly, and destructive. It hurts everyone around who tries to love and help, and it's ultimate goal is death. Not a laughing matter at all.
I am thankful that my loved one was not wealthy and had no means to perpetuate their facade this far. But I can say that they did have plenty of people around them who tolerated.....no, encouraged their over the top destructive behavior. It has always been the way of the insecure bully to revel in another person's destruction in order to take everyone's eyes off of their own.
How awful that I even for a few minutes was a party to such behavior. Because I know and realize full well that this man has a family.....a family who are probably out there right now trying their best to devise a plan of rescue....a family awake at night praying to whatever god they hold dear for the life of their loved one. A family dreading the ringing of their phones and the bad news that might be lurking on the other end. A family who is terrified that their loved one might not ever make it back, might not ever return to them as they knew him. I know this terror first hand and my heart aches for them.
So I for one, will no longer subject you to jokes about this sad situation, nor will I be a party to the media frenzy. If I speak of Charlie Sheen at all, it will be to lift him up before the Throne of grace, and pray for the healing love of God to overwhelm him.
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