The Comforter

We are moving.....again. It is really sort of low stress in the usual sense of packing and loading, because we live in a 5th wheel. Most of our things, which are few, are already packed into our home on wheels. But we did have a few "extras" that we were sorting through yesterday before a trip to Goodwill. Will the downsizing ever end?


One of the extra items we came across was a down comforter, a king size down comforter with a beautiful cover on it. How I loved that thing, so heavy and warm. I remember when I first bought it many years ago when we lived on the farm. We had just built (we meaning Craig mostly) a huge addition which included a new master bedroom suite. It was so beautiful to me, this huge new luxurious bedroom. I remember searching for the perfect bedding, and my excitement when I finally found it. It was as if God gave me exactly what I pictured in my heart. Every night we would get into bed, and I would lie there amazed at how blessed I was, and declare that our bedroom felt like a fancy hotel room, and I felt like a princess. That was a very trying but also extremely healing phase of my life, and I think back with fondness of the warmth of that comforter.

So there hubby stood with comforter in hand, asking me what I wanted to do with it? Well, the answer seemed obvious to him. We should get rid of the thing, since we only have a queen size bed in this trailer and haven't we had it for years anyway? But I found myself pausing for a bit. Quite a bit. I was sort of surprised at my own hesitation. How could I let that comforter go? After all, it held so many memories, and it was so beautiful......exactly what I wanted (and needed) at the time!
Hubby patiently put it aside and said I didn't have to get rid of it, I could keep it if I wanted to. Whew. That was better. But wait. Is that God I feel nudging me? Is that Him asking me the question "Holly, Who is your Comforter?"
Thankfully, I knew the answer right away. But even though I am now quite secure in His love and goodness, I realized that I still have a tendency to want to hang on to the past. I still have emotional attachments to "things" that tend to weigh me down. And I still find it hard sometimes to step out into the unknown.

God comes to us with so much to give us. But we often have our hands (even arms) so full of the stuff we are hanging on to, that we cannot receive from Him. He is taking me on a new adventure to a new land. The thought, while exciting, is also a bit unsettling. And because of our upcoming move and the uncertainty of it I found myself wanting to grab onto something familiar....something comforting.

The Bible talks about God being "jealous" for us. This statement angers many who don't really know Him, and keeps others away. I think they might misinterpret the meaning. I don't see God being jealous over me because He is greedy and doesn't want anyone else to have me. I see it more that in His wisdom, He knows that if I don't guard my love for Him, if Holy Spirit is not truly my source of Comfort, then I will find myself running off to other lovers to try and find comfort. This will only serve to damage my relationship with Him, and that relationship is what He is concerned about....for my own good.

I believe that the church is in a season of change. Change brings about a whole lot of uncertainty and insecurity. We have to be careful to examine our own hands, and ask Him to show us what we might be hanging on to for security. As the Holy Spirit is being poured out in ways we have never experienced, as new freedom is rushing in like a flood, the old comfortable ways have to go. We must empty our hands, so that God can fill them. I could hang on to that old comforter in hopes that some day I will have another big bedroom with another big bed to put it on. Or I can let it go, trusting in the goodness of my Creator....secure in the knowledge that whatever my future holds it won't just be the past repeated. No, it will be fresh and new and even better!! It will be like nothing I have ever experienced before. Now that is a real comfort to me.