I have been thinking about marriage lately. Someone close to me shared about his upcoming divorce. He stated that he and his wife are still good friends and would remain so. It was not the first time I have heard this sort of explanation from people stating their reason for separation or divorce. It sounds so strange to my ears.
Is friendship with one's spouse a horrible thing worthy of breaking up a marriage? When did that idea develop? What exactly are our expectations for marriage, anyway? Can a marriage even last if the parties are not good friends?
I think about why God created marriage in the first place. He wanted us to experience a relationship with another human being representative of His relationship with us. He wanted us to have a companion, so that we would not be "alone". He desired for us to experience "one-ness".
He loves us so much, He wanted to give us another dimension of love to experience, besides just "family love", Fatherly love....The love of God toward we His children. He wanted us to experience "romantic love". That is the love that Jesus has for His Bride. It is so beautifully displayed in the marriage relationship. And ultimately He draws us into "friendship". He said He calls us "friends'.
I can tell you that it has taken me many years to come into the "friendship" phase of my relationship with God. But it is amazing! I have experienced the newness of discovering Him (honeymoon phase?) and it was good. Then I experienced an awe of Him, respect and admiration......that He is truly my Savior and died for me.
I have known God as my Daddy. My family. Healing love. A love that never fails because after all, we are related!
There was a beautifully intense phase in which I experienced the consummation of my love relationship with the Lord. It was romantic and very private....unexplainable really. But we became one and I experienced that one-ness with Him.
I can truly say that lately I know God as my Friend. And this is the most glorious phase yet! I desire to relate to Him all day long...not out of a sense of duty, or even obligation, but because I love His friendship! He is the One with whom I want to share my heart and tell my secrets, and the wonder is He shares His heart and secrets with me! He is the Friend I love just hanging out with! I trust Him. I know this friendship will never fail. We will be BFF forever! There is security in this love relationship. He knows me, and still desires me. He chooses me, I choose Him. Friendship.
And isn't that how a marriage relationship progresses as well? It may be in different order, but ultimately isn't there a deep sense of appreciation and security in knowing that our spouse is our best friend? We are accepted, loved, understood and desired because we are friends. We love to hang out and just be together. We have history and future in this friendship connection. And it is good.
So why isn't it enough for a marriage? Where did the lie come from that tells us that marriage should be more than a lasting friendship? It makes my heart sad. I think maybe it makes my Friend's heart sad as well.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Tribute
As Christmas approaches, the season is taking on a familiar feel. I find myself crying at the drop of a hat at any commercial, not just Hallmark. My dear husband has been working way too many hours. But as I look back on our years of Christmases together, I realize that this is nothing out of the norm. I think what makes it even more noticeable this particular year is that I have no tree to decorate, no house to decorate, nothing to bake, nothing to shop for, basically nothing to distract me or keep me busy so that I don't miss him so much.
I think of all the years he has worked overtime right up until Christmas Eve. I remember the times he had to scramble to get an evening off to watch the boys in a church pageant or even to take them for a drive to see the lights. He has sacrificed all these years so that his family could enjoy all of the activities of the season, food and presents included.
This year, he works mostly because he knows he is blessed to have a job, but also to pay off some debts that have piled up recently due to vehicle and rental repairs. He tries to stay thankful for the hours, while he comes home most nights after 9:00, bone tired and body aching, and with a big sigh shares the bad news that he will have to work the weekend.
This familiar pattern is not by choice. Many people mistakenly judge my husband as "type A" or "work-aholic" but nothing could be further from the truth. He does not work because he is driven to succeed, he doesn't even like what he does for a living. His hard work and diligence for the most part go unnoticed by his employers; which breaks my heart because I know he is a man who does not believe in tooting his own horn, but is of the old school who thinks that a job well done will be rewarded. Sadly, in his line of work it rarely is.
All of the above, my friends, is why I felt led to pay him tribute in this post. (Especially after my little Christmas song which he loved so good-naturedly.) I wanted to use this forum to thank him for all his hard work over these more than 31 years. I wanted to say publicly how thankful I am that he not only provided for his family, he made us feel safe and secure. I am constantly amazed at his talents, and take for granted that I have a husband who can fix most anything, build most anything, and outwork most men half his age. And beyond those attributes he is kind and gentle, fun loving and patient, with a servant's heart, and most of all one of the most humble men I've ever known.
He left early for work this morning because he had an errand to run. You see, he not only works so many hours to provide for his family. He does it so he can give to others. This morning he was dropping off a bag of toys he blessed me with the opportunity to purchase for some needy children in the inner city here in Portland. An article in the paper was his inspiration.
Such generosity and tender-heartedness are a huge part of who he is. It is the vision that keeps him going...when he is working hour after hour feeling unappreciated. His vision is to one day own a business that will provide finances enough to enable him to give on a much bigger scale. I believe his dream will become a reality.
Until that day, I know he will continue to be diligent, conscientious, and committed to a job that he doesn't like. Because that is the kind of man he is. That is the man I married. And I am ever so thankful I did.
I think of all the years he has worked overtime right up until Christmas Eve. I remember the times he had to scramble to get an evening off to watch the boys in a church pageant or even to take them for a drive to see the lights. He has sacrificed all these years so that his family could enjoy all of the activities of the season, food and presents included.
This year, he works mostly because he knows he is blessed to have a job, but also to pay off some debts that have piled up recently due to vehicle and rental repairs. He tries to stay thankful for the hours, while he comes home most nights after 9:00, bone tired and body aching, and with a big sigh shares the bad news that he will have to work the weekend.
This familiar pattern is not by choice. Many people mistakenly judge my husband as "type A" or "work-aholic" but nothing could be further from the truth. He does not work because he is driven to succeed, he doesn't even like what he does for a living. His hard work and diligence for the most part go unnoticed by his employers; which breaks my heart because I know he is a man who does not believe in tooting his own horn, but is of the old school who thinks that a job well done will be rewarded. Sadly, in his line of work it rarely is.
All of the above, my friends, is why I felt led to pay him tribute in this post. (Especially after my little Christmas song which he loved so good-naturedly.) I wanted to use this forum to thank him for all his hard work over these more than 31 years. I wanted to say publicly how thankful I am that he not only provided for his family, he made us feel safe and secure. I am constantly amazed at his talents, and take for granted that I have a husband who can fix most anything, build most anything, and outwork most men half his age. And beyond those attributes he is kind and gentle, fun loving and patient, with a servant's heart, and most of all one of the most humble men I've ever known.
He left early for work this morning because he had an errand to run. You see, he not only works so many hours to provide for his family. He does it so he can give to others. This morning he was dropping off a bag of toys he blessed me with the opportunity to purchase for some needy children in the inner city here in Portland. An article in the paper was his inspiration.
Such generosity and tender-heartedness are a huge part of who he is. It is the vision that keeps him going...when he is working hour after hour feeling unappreciated. His vision is to one day own a business that will provide finances enough to enable him to give on a much bigger scale. I believe his dream will become a reality.
Until that day, I know he will continue to be diligent, conscientious, and committed to a job that he doesn't like. Because that is the kind of man he is. That is the man I married. And I am ever so thankful I did.
Monday, December 14, 2009
My Twelve Days of Christmas
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A new shop vac for cleaning
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
"No, not a Snuggie!!"
A new shop vac for cleaning
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
Merry Christmas to all.......And may you remember to count your blessings!!!
A 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
A new shop vac for cleaning
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
"No, not a Snuggie!!"
A new shop vac for cleaning
Ten laundry tokens
Nine winds a-blowing
Smoke alarm blaring
Seven dogs barking
Six neighbors slamming
Our new boat!!
Four lukewarm showers
Three clothing drawers
Two oil heaters
And a 5th wheel trailer by the Sandy!
Merry Christmas to all.......And may you remember to count your blessings!!!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Nothing?
First I just have to share what my hubby said to me this morning....."I'll have you know that I threw the toothpaste out even when I knew there was still a little bit in there!!!" OK, from some of the comments I received, I am not sure that my heart came through on my last post. Maybe my heart will be better revealed as time goes on.
Which brings me to today's ponderings. I received an email from a dear friend yesterday. It was a passage from a book written by Madame Guyon. While I love reading her, and appreciate the depth of her insights, this particular passage on this particular day just didn't seem to sit right with me.
She was talking about our "nothingness" and how we can only come to God with revelation of that. I agree in part with what she shared. But I believe there is so much more to it. I also believe there are too many people who are convinced they are nothing, therefore they never live up to their God given potential.
God is the Potter. We are the clay. But a potter doesn't leave the clay in a lump of nothingness. He creates something wonderful with it! You!! Me!! I think to leave it with the thought that we are nothing and God is everything, is to leave us in a state of uselessness. A lump of clay has little purpose. But a created vessel has a purpose, whatever purpose its maker chooses for it!
I sense that Madame's point was more of our necessity to acknowledge that God is the Potter and on our own we have nothing to offer. But I would say that a lump of nothing has nothing to acknowledge, a created vessel has a Creator to thank and a reason to worship. A vessel has usefulness. But a vessel must first be filled to be useful. Maybe that is the key.
This being Christmas season, I think often of the Wise Men, or Magi. What an incredibly beautiful picture, to see these grown men bowing in humility to the blessed Babe. If they felt they were nothing, then they would not have stepped out in the wisdom that they knew they possessed, and followed the star to where the Baby Jesus was lying in that manger. They might have thought, "Who are we to think that star has any meaning? Why would we follow it? We are nothing....We are nobodies....."
Or think of Mary and how she anointed Jesus' feet with that expensive perfume in the most beautiful act of worship. I don't believe she would have had the courage to go into that room full of religious men and do what she did if she felt like she were nothing. I think she was able to do it because finally, after Jesus "saw" here and declared her forgiven, she knew who she was! And because of that revelation she was compelled to worship Him!
My sister rescued a dog, a Cocker Spaniel. She is a beautiful creature, but because she was neglected and abused in her former life, she is very timid and shy. She trusted only my sister in the beginning. She still sits at her feet in adoration. But because of the gentleness and loving care my sis has given this dog, she is beginning to come out of her shell.....and my sister is beginning to see glimpses of the beautiful animal she was created to be. And that is her desire for this dog, for her to be everything she was created to be, not to just sit at her feet in adoration. She wants her to live! She wants her to enjoy being a dog! That is what brings my sister the most joy.
Can our Creator desire any less for us?
Which brings me to today's ponderings. I received an email from a dear friend yesterday. It was a passage from a book written by Madame Guyon. While I love reading her, and appreciate the depth of her insights, this particular passage on this particular day just didn't seem to sit right with me.
She was talking about our "nothingness" and how we can only come to God with revelation of that. I agree in part with what she shared. But I believe there is so much more to it. I also believe there are too many people who are convinced they are nothing, therefore they never live up to their God given potential.
God is the Potter. We are the clay. But a potter doesn't leave the clay in a lump of nothingness. He creates something wonderful with it! You!! Me!! I think to leave it with the thought that we are nothing and God is everything, is to leave us in a state of uselessness. A lump of clay has little purpose. But a created vessel has a purpose, whatever purpose its maker chooses for it!
I sense that Madame's point was more of our necessity to acknowledge that God is the Potter and on our own we have nothing to offer. But I would say that a lump of nothing has nothing to acknowledge, a created vessel has a Creator to thank and a reason to worship. A vessel has usefulness. But a vessel must first be filled to be useful. Maybe that is the key.
This being Christmas season, I think often of the Wise Men, or Magi. What an incredibly beautiful picture, to see these grown men bowing in humility to the blessed Babe. If they felt they were nothing, then they would not have stepped out in the wisdom that they knew they possessed, and followed the star to where the Baby Jesus was lying in that manger. They might have thought, "Who are we to think that star has any meaning? Why would we follow it? We are nothing....We are nobodies....."
Or think of Mary and how she anointed Jesus' feet with that expensive perfume in the most beautiful act of worship. I don't believe she would have had the courage to go into that room full of religious men and do what she did if she felt like she were nothing. I think she was able to do it because finally, after Jesus "saw" here and declared her forgiven, she knew who she was! And because of that revelation she was compelled to worship Him!
My sister rescued a dog, a Cocker Spaniel. She is a beautiful creature, but because she was neglected and abused in her former life, she is very timid and shy. She trusted only my sister in the beginning. She still sits at her feet in adoration. But because of the gentleness and loving care my sis has given this dog, she is beginning to come out of her shell.....and my sister is beginning to see glimpses of the beautiful animal she was created to be. And that is her desire for this dog, for her to be everything she was created to be, not to just sit at her feet in adoration. She wants her to live! She wants her to enjoy being a dog! That is what brings my sister the most joy.
Can our Creator desire any less for us?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Waste not?
This morning I am thinking about things. Not about the things so much, but more the people who use them.
Some people find themselves to be super thrifty. You know the ones. They get to the end of the chapstick and start to search for something to dig that last little bit of it out so that nothing is wasted. They do the same with toothpaste. The tube is clearly gone, but is it? Maybe if I find the dictionary and put it on the end of the tube pressing down firmly....aha! There is some more of that gel coming out after all, just enough for one more brushing.
I think there must be a feeling of satisfaction in this behavior. Or......is it pride? "Look what I got from something the average person would have just wasted!! I am the craftiest and thriftiest of them all!!!"
But then....maybe it is an identity issue. Does one feel he or she is somehow more valuable because of the money saved with such cleverness?
Perhaps it all boils down to what one values in the first place. When all is said and done, is the time spent devising a way to get every last drop out of a two dollar item worth anything?
At the end of the day, I find greater satisfaction in knowing that I threw the chapstick away and went on with living. But there lies the danger, for there is my pride. After all, if I were to criticize and judge the toothpaste squeezer or the chapstick digger, wouldn't that be the biggest waste of time?
Some people find themselves to be super thrifty. You know the ones. They get to the end of the chapstick and start to search for something to dig that last little bit of it out so that nothing is wasted. They do the same with toothpaste. The tube is clearly gone, but is it? Maybe if I find the dictionary and put it on the end of the tube pressing down firmly....aha! There is some more of that gel coming out after all, just enough for one more brushing.
I think there must be a feeling of satisfaction in this behavior. Or......is it pride? "Look what I got from something the average person would have just wasted!! I am the craftiest and thriftiest of them all!!!"
But then....maybe it is an identity issue. Does one feel he or she is somehow more valuable because of the money saved with such cleverness?
Perhaps it all boils down to what one values in the first place. When all is said and done, is the time spent devising a way to get every last drop out of a two dollar item worth anything?
At the end of the day, I find greater satisfaction in knowing that I threw the chapstick away and went on with living. But there lies the danger, for there is my pride. After all, if I were to criticize and judge the toothpaste squeezer or the chapstick digger, wouldn't that be the biggest waste of time?
Monday, December 7, 2009
Hello Friends!
With much prodding and some help from a friend and fellow blogger, I am launching this blog. As I type the word, I am wondering what "blog" means and where it came from. No matter. Here I am and here I will blog. Off I go into the wild blog yonder. Blog....it's how I roll. To blog or not to blog....
Watch out, world.....time to get my blog on!! Oh yea! Bloggone it!!
Watch out, world.....time to get my blog on!! Oh yea! Bloggone it!!
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