Homeless

When I opened my blinds the other morning, there were a few homeless young people across the street. She was sitting on a swing the neighbor hung from the tree in their front yard. He was standing talking to her. There were backpacks and garbage bags on the ground at his feet.

I'm not proud of my initial thoughts, which were "I need to wake my hubby up! The homeless are moving in across the street!!" My initial reaction was fear. Even worse, my fear wasn't actually fear of these 2 young people, black guy, white girl. My fear was that our street would become...well, like the streets downtown...full of trash and undesirable people begging for money on every corner.

So I sat here a bit, with that fear. I watched another homeless black young man walk up and join them, carrying a trash bag full of cans.

As I sat here alone with God and my thoughts, love began to wash over me. My son is currently homeless. He isn't scary. Sheesh. How silly my reaction to these young people outside!

Soon more love entered into. my being. And in that moment, everything changed. Now I want to make breakfast sandwiches to take across the street. I want to meet them and hear their stories. I want to share with them the love I am now experiencing.

OK...so why didn't I? How could anyone say that wouldn't have been the right thing to do? The thing most like Jesus?

I have a dear friend who took a homeless woman in and attempted to help her. She realized through this experience, and others, that our compassion isn't always helpful. The woman was so used to accepting "help" that she wasn't one bit thankful...or kind even. It was expected, and when it was time to let her go, she was angry. She wasn't ready to change, or to help herself.

If I had fed these "kids" what then? Now they know where I live, and might decide to camp in our yard...bringing their friends...and now what? Do we continue to feed them hand outs? Is that helping them? Feed a man a fish, or teach a man to fish and all that.

Anyway, this was such a clear picture (to me) of all that is going on right now in our country. There are a lot of people who, like me, want to help other people who are suffering...black people, homeless people, immigrant people...so many people who need help! And I see that one political party is leading with their compassion. They are tired of the way things have been, and want to see a change. Their hearts are in the right place (like mine was) but maybe their methods aren't exactly the answer.

On the other side, I see a lot of people who love our country, and know that in comparison to a lot of other countries, we are winning in the area of finances, freedom, etc., in their experience. So, they don't want the boat rocked. I get it.

I have another dear friend who has Irish ancestry. Her love for America seems to stem from her roots, that when the Irish were being starved by the English, America was their saving grace. They came here, still poor and starving, but they had a chance to build a life. And this was (and still is) the case for so many immigrants. This country has their undying loyalty because they found a place of promise, where they could be free to practice their religion, and live in relative peace.

That is not the history of many black families. For many, this country wasn't their saving grace. We have to acknowledge this fact and somehow deal with it. I'm not sure what the answer is, but listening to people's stories, without judging them for their experiences, might be a start.

In hindsight, I wish I had just gone across the street and had a conversation with the young homeless ones. I wish I had acknowledged them, and their humanity. That is my wish for all of us in this time,. I wish we could listen, learn, truly "see" other people and try to hear their hearts, lay down our sides and our judgments, and be human beings again.

The take-away for me is this...I didn't physically "do" anything to help, nor did I actually speak to them in person. But...the love in my heart grew that morning. And if love truly is the point of our existence, which I absolutely believe it is, then ultimate good was achieved...changing me, and those around me. Love expanded and grew and materialized within me. Awareness grew. Awareness of our connectedness, which is so very needed in these times of hate and war. Maybe the ultimate "goal" was achieved after all. Maybe it wasn't about their need, but mine.