Entrenched

I have been being lovingly corrected by God this morning. He is always so gentle, and his correction never feels like punishment. It is more like He reminds me who I am, who He is, and steers me back in the right direction.

I left my post yesterday. I allowed fear and anger to come in and threaten to replace the love, grace and peace that God has worked out in me over the past almost 30 years. And because I was in a place of fear, I shared something on Facebook that I shouldn't have...because it wasn't for me to post. I don't even know who edited the video, or what their agenda is. Because, let's face it, everything that we view on TV or other online sources are not simply "facts"...they are all presented by flawed  human beings who have their own fears and angry places...some that have evolved into hatred. These videos or articles are supposed to convince us of a certain view or stance or "side" in this war we have been dropped into.
But I'm not talking about the war between religious zealots and the rest of us. I am talking about the battle called "life"...this battlefield where we live in the trenches every day of our lives.

My biggest battle is to continue to allow God to speak through me, and use me, as he designed. And I know my place in this battle. My post, the character of God that I have been given to share with others and to re-present is His love, grace, and goodness. That is my message. The Bible talks about how we are "living epistles" or letters...love letters to God and about God. So when I get caught up in anything fearful, or propaganda-ish, or hateful...well, I have strayed from my original God-design. I don't ever want to be "entrenched" in those things.

I have received His gentle correction. If you find that you have strayed...it is easy to get back on track. 
I am going to spend even more time in the presence of love, and allow the One who holds it all to remind me that He's got this. I am committed to staying in touch with the life-giving Spirit who speaks of grace and love and goodness and kindness and faithfulness and joy. I am going to be less about "world news" and more about the Good News. Because the battlefield is right here, every day. And we battle not against flesh and blood. Remember? Know your place, fellow warriors. Stay there. Don't stray from your post, as I did mine.

We are all called into this battle...the battle of life! We each have a place in the trenches. But remember how we fight. Don't allow fear or hatred to rear their ugly heads. Let's get back on our knees...keeping our heads down so we don't get them blown off. There is safety in this place.

Now let the Commander of the army come...

And it came to pass, when Joshua was by Jericho, that he lifted his eyes and looked, and behold, a Man stood opposite him with His sword drawn in His hand. And Joshua went to Him and said to Him, “Are You for us or for our adversaries?”
So He said, “No, but as Commander of the army of the Lord I have now come.”

A Book?

I was pondering with God the other day, and realized that I've lived through a lot. Sort of like I have lived a bunch of different lives. There was my young hanging-out-with-the-rich-and-famous life. Then the farm years with all of the animal stories. And let's not forget my more recent living-in-an-RV adventures. Yep, I have a lot of stories.

Having just gone back through some old blog posts and letters, and because I am a writer (there, I said it for the first time), I was thinking about how I would love to publish a book of short stories, just a few pages each...to leave behind for my grandkids. So they would know me. Sort of a recap of the most interesting times of my life. I mean, they know me...but I would love for them and their children to really know me, and what better way than through personal stories...little snippets of my life?

So, I'm talking to God and telling him, "I think I wanna do this. I want to compile these stories and share with them who I am. In a book. Yeah. A book of stories. That would be cool.  Don't you think that's a good idea?"

And He said "Yes I do!" Then in His perfect comedic timing He said, "You know...I did that myself." (smile)

Oh my gosh!! Yes you did!!! (laughter)

We're funny, huh God?

"Yes, my dear. We are delightful."

He totally gets me.

Betrayal

It happened again. Love came around to bite me in the butt. At least it felt like it.

You know the feeling, that horrible moment when you realize that you trusted someone only to find out you'd been duped. Fooled again by their lies and deceit. Manipulated. You played right into the hands of betrayal...again.

This time, well this time was not as harsh. This time I was able to recover within hours instead of days or even weeks. This time I remembered. I remembered that time...that beautiful time when God spoke to me...powerful words that wiped out the aftermath of betrayal.

I remember it so clearly. Sitting in the hot tub...soaking in the hot water, face wet with tears. I was railing at God, "How could I be so stupid? Why did You let me believe it? Why didn't You tell me it was all lies? I usually have discernment, where was it this time? When will I learn? I am just so angry with myself, and with You!!! I should have known better than to trust again! I feel like a fool..."

"Love is nothing to be ashamed of."

It was as clear as I have ever heard His voice...that voice that pierces my heart...now spoke to me so gently.

I wept more tears, but now they were different. No longer was I crying from shame. No longer did I feel so foolish or deceived. All anger was diffused. I felt the warmth of His love...bypassing the warmth of the spa.

I don't have to feel ashamed for believing the best about someone! That is exactly what love does! And love is who God is, and He is working love out in me...and in all humanity. And I get to be a part of that. I get to keep my heart open, and pour love upon everyone I meet...while He protects my heart from being completely broken when trampled upon...because I trust Him! Betrayal, where is your sting?

Are you feeling betrayed? Have you been lied to by someone you love? The wound of betrayal is a deep wound. Often our response is to fight back, or retreat. Either response is unproductive, really.

Don't close yourself off from love. Don't allow betrayal to win. Do you want to really get revenge on betrayal?

Stand tall in love! Don't cower, don't be ashamed, and don't be afraid to love again. Ever.

Stand in the power of these words:

Love is patient; love is kind. 

Love is nothing to be ashamed of.