Slime

While doing laundry today, in the rain, in my little trailer, I walked by the sink in my bedroom where the carpet switches to bare floor and I slipped and almost went down. I figured there must have been some water or something on the floor and went about my business.

The next time I went by to check on the clothes in the dryer, it happened again. What the heck? I looked back on the floor and didn't see a thing. Walking back by I skidded like I was on an icy sidewalk. What is going on here? Upon further inspection, I noticed some sort of clear fluid running out from under the door of the cupboard under the sink.

If you are a woman you have probably had some experience with a hair product called "smoothing serum" which gives your sometimes frizzy hair a smoother finish. If you are a man I most likely lost you way back when I mentioned laundry. Anyway, an almost full bottle of hair smoothing serum was upside down in my cupboard and had leaked its slime literally all over the place, "the place" being not very big because I live in a trailer, but still.....it was a mess.

I wiped, I washed, I ran hot water over, and nothing seemed to remove the slime....neither from the floor nor off of the many other items which were encased in the cupboard with the offender. I had a real challenge on my hands. Would I curse and grumble, only making matters worse? Miraculously I did neither!
 
Well, you know me and how God speaks to me in all things and all situations good and bad (this was definitely the latter), so while I was cleaning up the slimey substance I was noting how invisible it was to the naked eye. I had to feel around to find where the slime lake began and ended. Invisible slime.

We have a saying among my friends, when someone says or does something to us that hurts or causes us to feel like we have plopped down out of the Kingdom and into the false reality of this world, we say "I was slimed".
Like the hair product, we usually can't see the slime coming. It comes on us quickly, and causes us to slip out of the love God wants us to walk in, and into sort of a self-protecting state. We hurt when we are slimed. It is yukky, and we want it off. Often we react to slime and the situation only gets uglier.

Back to the mess in my bathroom. What did I finally use to clean it up? Oh you are gonna really like this!! I used a wonderful little cleaner called "Fantastic"! Aha! I can sense you are tying this all together in your brains and I probably don't even need to write further.....but I will anyway because this is my blog.

It occurred to me that just like I reached for Fantastic to get rid of the slimey mess in my bathroom, when we find ourselves slimed by the words or actions of others.....we can reach out for our "Fantastic" God and He will clean us right off!! I mean, He is right there with all of His Fantastic love and Fantastic power, just waiting for us to reach for Him so He can wash the offending slime off! But I suggest you do it quickly, before you slip!

Am I Even Saved?

Hello, Blogger world. I come to you today after a weekend of heavenly bliss. Yes, I retreated with 16 other like-minded women...though we didn't actually "retreat" in the sense that we went backwards. We did retreat into the arms of Jesus, where all advancements are made. It was a glorious time of freedom in the glorious bliss of God. I highly recommend it!
But....though one would think that I remain on a spiritual plateau from such a weekend, I found out all too quickly the opposite was true. Upon my arrival home, or should I say when I returned to the 5th wheel where I reside, my husband relayed the bad news to me. Our internet had been down all weekend. Down. Gone. Kaput. Not a computer problem, something much more ominous. It was a cable problem. I know, right? Sent chills up my spine too.
No internet, no gmail, no facebook, and horror of horrors no craigslist to browse for nothing we need but everything we might want if it is a great deal because how can we pass up such a good deal? We could at the very least sell it and make money!!! Alas, all of these wonderful time filling (wasting?) internet things were dead. It was a sad day.
But wait, there was a light at the end of this dark tunnel...they were sending a repairman out! Oh yes, a repairman was coming out from 10:00 to 12:00 on Tuesday. I was going to be home recovering from my wonderfully spiritual and godly weekend anyway!! All is not lost! I would be up and running in no time!!! And surely this repairman would be touched by the lingering presence of the Lord in my trailer.....

I carefully kept track of the hour as I waited with baited breath. I just know he will be coming soon. Oh and then I can get online and check the hundreds of emails and facebook comments that accumulated while I was away. I am giddy with anticipation of the follow up emails from the ladies I retreated with, and hopes of a really great UTube video to make my day worth living.
My phone rang and I was certain it was....the.....Cable Guy. But it was Craig calling to inform me that the repairman had called his cell phone which he was unable to answer because he was at work, and the guy didn't even leave a message, and Craig tried to call him back but he didn't pick up!! Oh no!!! This is an emergency!! I quickly got on my phone, and called Charter Communications certain that the repairman was right down the street and could turn around and come quickly back to aid this damsel in distress.
Any of you who have ever dealt with a cable company already know that was not the case. I spoke with a very nice gal who seemed to also be very confused as to how a computer works (like me). She assured me that when the repairman didn't get an answer to his phone call, not knowing the space number we live in, he quickly canceled the work order. WHAT????

I will spare you the gruesome details, but just let me say that after being cut off twice (yes, I said TWICE) and speaking with FOUR different people, the best they could do was hope to have someone out by Thursday. I continued to assure each person with whom I spoke that I am normally a very nice person and I usually don't get so angry.....but this is totally UNACCEPTABLE and RIDICULOUS!! They were not impressed with my tirades, which only served to make me madder.
I had the last laugh though when I hung up, finally, after 2 hours....yes, I said 2 hours and I said it without exaggeration.......I immediately called QWest and set us up with an appointment for service with them, but they couldn't come out until Friday. Ha!! Take that, Charter Communications!!! You have no idea who you are messing with!!!

My story does not end there. Oh no. Craig came home from work and soon realized that I had just been through a really trying day and he suggested we go grab a bite to eat. Well, on our way back to the mobile home park, we noticed a Charter van was parked in the driveway next door. We laughed about it, wondering if he was lost again. But I couldn't let it go. He wasn't calling us to get our space number. What is he doing anyway? I had to go talk to him. I mean, he is right here!!!
As I headed out my door, I saw the van going by on the other side of the park. He must be coming!! Oh boy, the Cable Guy is coming, the Cable Guy is coming!! But he stopped 3 trailers down and was talking to my neighbor. Still unable to be deterred, I marched right down the street and asked if he wasn't here to service space F to which he replied he was not, he was here for space B. I was livid. Interesting. The spiritual afterglow from my weekend must have worn off.

Soon another Charter van pulled up. I couldn't stand it any longer. The neighbor gets TWO service vans and they can't get anyone out to us till Thursday??? I gave the man in the second van an earful, I know he was certainly sympathetic when he heard I had been on the phone with them for TWO HOURS!!!!....and he promised that when they were done with her repair they would certainly be right down. Ha! That's the way to get it done! The squeaky wheel and all that.....

Wait. Did I really just yell at that guy? Well, he certainly deserved it after all, putting me through such grief. OK, so he didn't actually put me through it but still......I have rights. Wait. Do I? Didn't I lay down my rights when I invited Jesus to live through me? Oh man, how can one day cause me to go from a spirit filled grace-full woman of God to a ranting, raving lunatic demanding my way? Am I even saved?

If you know Jesus, you know the Answer to my last question. And it was only a rhetorical one but still.....it causes me to stop and be carefully aware of how quickly my "self" or my flesh or ego or whatever we like to call it loves to come in and take over and rule in my heart, in the very heart where I invited Jesus to rule and reign. It shocks me, and yet it also brings me to my knees in worshipful abandon.....reminded that it is nothing that I do and everything that He did....and though I will never measure up to my own ideals of perfection, I am perfectly loved and accepted and forgiven and it is such a wonderful and amazing thing that I pray I never, ever take for granted.

And I'm relieved to report that I behaved like a perfect angel when my power was turned off for six hours yesterday........