Jesus, Why Were You Crying?

 This morning, I sit with Jesus in the silence of my home. And in the silence of my spirit I ask, "Jesus, why were You crying?"

Jesus wept. John's Gospel account, chapter eleven, verse 35.
The shortest and one of the most intriguing verses in Scripture.
But, why did He weep? I ask the question, but I really don't want your answer. I don't want the answers of theologians or the answer in the side-notes of my Bible, or even Wikipedia. While I'm not certain I will ever hear His answer, still...I will ask the question.

We like to think, and maybe we were taught to think that Jesus cried out of His great compassion for Mary and Martha's suffering. Their beloved brother was dead, Lazerus was also Jesus' friend, and everyone was grieving. Was He struck with grief too? But wait, why would He be? Jesus knew He was about to raise Laz from the dead! He also understood that eternal life, the kind of Life He came to give us, wasn't about some "future resurrection" as Martha believed. Eternal Life was right there in that moment...Eternal Life was and is Jesus. So, was this it Lord? Were they simply tears of human compassion? Did you cry because Lazerus died?

Mary's words must have really stung..."Lord, if you had been here, by brother wouldn't have died." Wow. Really, Mary? Are you saying that I blew it? Are you so discouraged, so blinded by your grief that you would accuse me of being too late? Don't you trust Me? Aren't we friends?

How often do we wallow in our own "if only's"? "If only You had answered my prayers my way, none of this would have happened." Do we believe He is good?
Was it Martha and Mary's attack on Your character, Lord? Is that why You cried?
 
I may never get an answer to my question. Jesus may not choose to speak to my heart or to clarify His tears to me. But because I love Him...I will ask. If any friend of mine is crying, my question would be the same. Whether she can answer, or not, I will ask...because I want her to know that I care. I want her to know that what is important enough to her to make her cry is also important to me. 

See, it isn't really about the answer. But by asking, I'm saying... "Your tears matter to me. You matter to me."

"Jesus, why were You crying?"

Blowin' in the Wind

The wind makes me feel so alive! While on my walk this morning, I had to avoid trash cans, and branches that were blowing all around the neighborhood. Dangerous!! But invigorating at the same time.

The wind reminds me of Jesus. He is so wild and dangerous too. I may try to calm him down with mental images of a peaceful guru in a robe and sandals. But once I got to know Him, I quickly found out how dangerous He really is. His invitation to "follow Me" was the beginning of a wild and invigorating adventure.

The Holy Spirit is often referred to as "the wind...the wind of the Spirit"...and I love the analogy. Wind is unpredictable. We can't chase wind down. We can't run over to one spot because the wind is there. Because as soon as we do, the wind will change direction and move someplace else. We can't contain the wind, nor can we tame it. But the wind always makes me feel alive. It reminds me that life is exciting! And I'm alive!!!

I am often like a tree in the wind, trying to hang onto it's leaves. But then a gust comes, and blows all of the leaves off in preparation for the next season. I, too, try to hold onto the season that is passed.  But as hard as I try, when the Spirit blows through, I am stripped of all that was...and pushed along into a new adventure.

But sometimes, the wind feels too dangerous. Like last year, when we were in our RV, and the table blew into it. That was a little too exciting! Sometimes the wind makes me feel vulnerable...and a little insecure.

These days, I love to climb into the hot tub and enjoy the storm from within its soothing water.
It reminds me that when life feels too wild and unpredictable, I can climb into the liquid warmth of God's love...and ride out the storm.