My I am loves to Dance

(another excerpt from my someday book, "The Popeye Chronicles: Becoming my I am")

I have always loved to dance. Ever since I can remember, I have loved music, and when music is playing, my body is dancing. I feel music in every fiber of my being. It expresses some of the deepest parts of me, and that expression comes out in dance.

When we came into the Kingdom, I stopped dancing. After going to church and learning about how sinful I was, I knew the dancing part of me had to die. After all, I spent a lot of years dancing to ungodly rock music...in very ungodly places. I probably caused many men to succumb to lust, and was responsible for many women's sinful jealousy. My dancing days were over. So sad.

The problem was, our church music was upbeat and there were even people moving to it during worship. But, they weren't really dancing...not the kind of dance that was inside of me. There's was an acceptable dance which didn't seem much like a dance at all. It was actually more like jumping. (Evidently aerobics are acceptable to the Lord.) Anyway, I felt very uncomfortable doing it. Oh how I wanted to dance!!

Well, the dancer within was coming out...at home. 

In my house, by myself, I began to put worship music on and move to my heart's delight...and God's as well. I know He loved my dancing because He would dance with me. I felt His presence and the warmth of His smile. It was glorious to be back...to find myself again. So, I danced and I danced and I danced...

But finding your I am can be a dangerous thing. My dancing I am was released at a funeral for a friend. She was taken, in my opinion, way too early. Her service was in the church I attended. Music was playing, one of my favorite songs...and the next thing I knew I was out of my seat...dancing in the aisle. Yep, my I am came out in full force for all to see. I guess I had become so used to being "me" at home, alone with God, that I couldn't be suppressed any longer. So, I danced. And in the moment I didn't care, I was caught up with Him, dancing with my Beloved, and dancing with my friend.

As the service was ending, that stupid insecure false me tried to rear her ugly head with accusations...trying to blanket me in shame. But God had me covered. He always covers our shame if we'll let Him. (Too often we jump in and try to cover ourselves which only serves to hinder our I am.) But this day someone very dear to the woman came up to me and said "I am so glad you danced! It was beautiful, and she would have loved it!!" Oh thank you!! And thank You, God...for loving me and loving my dance!!
I would like to say that I am completely free now and dance with abandon any time the Spirit moves me...but it is not yet true. But one thing is true; my dancing I am will never make me ashamed again.