As a mother, there is nothing that brings more grief to my heart than to hear my children fighting. It doesn't happen often, but when it does it really hurts my parent heart. Because when all is said and done, no matter what else goes wrong in my family, there has always been an underlying love and respect for one another that brings me peace. I have always known that ultimately, we have each others backs. I believe that's kind of the whole point of relationship. To get past our differences, unified in our humanity...we're family.
When they were little, I used to sit my kids on the couch when they were fighting, until they could get along and be nice to each other. It's a bit more complicated now that we're all adults. As a parent, I can see both sides. I know the hearts involved. I know the wounds, the
pain, and the back stories. So from this perspective, I can see they each have valid points. I can see why
both sides believe they are
right.
There is currently a rift in my family, and it hurts. Some days I just want to get them all in a room and yell "Knock it
off!!!" like I did when they were young and fighting over a
toy. While I know that this division in my family won't last forever, I have struggled with a deep grief that seems to be disproportionate to what is going with us. And I have been asking God why...I mean, we have been through worse. Much worse. Yet, this grief seems to have a grip on my heart.
Then this morning, I woke up feeling a deeper kind of sadness. I was thinking how sad our Father in Heaven must feel over his children. Because His kids are fighting. And it's getting ugly.
You see, I don't mind if my kids argue over music, or movies, or any other differences of opinion they may have. But if I heard any one of them calling another horrible names, attacking their character, or questioning their humanity...making fun of each other...or accusing each other to be some sort of devil...well, that would be crossing a line. And that's a line that brothers should never cross.
Ever.
And we do it all the time.
Almost every post on social media that has to do with politics has crossed that line. I have Facebook friends from all political parties and walks of life. (if you don't, you really need to broaden your existence) And from what I read, each side makes valid points. Each side is passionate and compassionate about right things. But the fighting on each side has gotten ugly.
And God sees it all. He sees every heart, and every fear, and every passion. And while I don't believe He expects His children to agree on everything, I do believe He desires us to act respectfully toward each other.
Each time we de-humanize those with whom we disagree, we have turned our backs on the One who created us all in His image. Every time we enter into slander, name-calling, and accusation, we are agreeing with the accuser. The enemy of Love. The very one we are supposed to be unified against.
My brothers and sisters, can we choose to disagree while remaining dignified? Can we stay above all of the petty name-calling and try to find a common ground?
Really, how can we come before God and pray in
agreement with Him when there is so much hate and animosity in our hearts against His other kids? Will He answer our prayers?
Believe me, He isn't standing with His arm around your shoulder, taking your side against your brother! He isn't saying "You're right, he's wrong, I love you more, and I can't stand him" any more than I could do that with my own kids.
No, a parent is a parent, and a parent's love stretches beyond every argument and difference. A parent's love hurts when it's kids are being awful to each other.
I can hear God saying to us today,
"KNOCK IT OFF!!"
Ugh. I'm sorry, Dad. Teach me how to fight a good fight. Teach me to play well with others. Remind me that we are all Your kids, none of us completely right or completely wrong. And I promise to disagree with dignity. And I'll stop the hateful name-calling...I will even take a time out on the couch if I need it. Oh, and thanks for never taking sides against me.
