From the Outside In

Jesus came for the "outsiders". He came for the non-Jews, the un-religious types...prostitutes, partiers, the greedy and unclean. You name it, He loved them all and as He made His love for them known it turned the religious world on its head. I am one of those outsiders. Chances are, you are one as well. But since spending over twenty years as a Christian, I am starting to wonder if I had somehow transformed into one of the religious insiders?

We have spent some time not attending church on Sunday mornings. But we are the church, and very connected to the church. (Some of you may wonder, how can that be? Some of you may even worry about the state of our souls. Thanks for your concern.) As an outsider, I find myself feeling "out of it" when conversations turn to the usual..."worship was so good this morning" or "the presence of God was just thick on Sunday" or many of the other things that come up as we critique our most recent church services. Trust me, I have been there in the midst of such conversations, very much an "insider" and I now wonder how it must have sounded to other outsiders, whether they be outside of church in general, or just my church, or even pre-believers. Now it all seems so strange to me, almost as if we are saying "Wow, God really likes our church services! I think He likes them more than anyone else's."

"Changing churches" is another strange thing, and it makes some of us quite nervous. I know it did me the first time we had to do it. I was very uncomfortable at first. I have since realized that most churches are pretty much the same. The buildings differ, some small and humble, some large and theater-like, and inside people sing songs, usually led by a group who look similar to many of the "bands" we grew up with, only more clean-cut...sometimes...but not always...or there might even be a choir in robes...but there will usually be some music to start with, then there will be some form of announcements, then the plate, basket, or velvet bag will be passed, then someone, (usually a man), will go up front and teach...(this part being quite similar to a college class I would assume, though I didn't get to college)...and then there will be an altar call...either you need to accept Jesus as your Savior, or you need Him to re-purpose you, or whatever the call might be...and then everyone goes home. Or to lunch. Some people go back to their lives, with very little change in them...others are quite busy and involved in the whole production of "church" so they go to various meetings throughout the week to organize and "do" all of the things that keep the production going. If it is a "spirit-filled" church, then these meetings will be more prayer based, which causes the members to feel quite superior to the other types of churches. In all, though, pretty much the same. And I am wondering how different "church" today is from those Temple meetings back in the day when Jesus first came?

Recently, I was reading a conversation on Facebook about angels. There was discussion of the angelic activity that was sensed during a church service, and then there was talk about more prayer for more angelic activity, and for eyes to be opened to see and sense the angels during service, etc. This was all good and very exciting and I am not criticizing at all because I love angelic activity as much as the next girl. And I have also been very involved in such conversations in the past. The thing is, hearing it from my current "outsider" viewpoint, it would seem as if there is only angelic activity in a church meeting, and I know that the people having the conversation don't believe that. But it seems that when we are immersed in church meetings, and focused on church meetings, and if church is the place where we go to experience God...then our expectation of angelic activity will be focused on church meetings.

The funny thing is, the very week I read this conversation on Facebook, I was in between locations on another leg of our vagabond journey, and playing ball with my 3 year old grandson in the hallway of his home. We were kicking the ball and laughing and suddenly I "felt" the manifest presence of angels or "The Angel of the Lord" or just that presence that we love...and I knew that Heaven had come to earth in that moment, in that hallway, while playing ball with my grandson. The joy I felt in that moment increased tremendously, and our laughter increased as well. My grandson and I were experiencing God together, and it was delightful! And we weren't "in church"!

I am aware and amazed at how often I sense Heaven, or angels, while playing with my grandson...or at many other times in my day to day life. But I guess I didn't used to. And...now this is my point, really...I wonder if I sense the "Presence" more often now in day to day life than I used to when I was focused on church, and mostly expected to feel God on Sunday morning? Do you get what I am saying? I wonder if maybe before there was a sort of laziness in my "Christianity" that caused me to just rely on "good worship" or the corporate anointing...to get my God fix. And maybe, just maybe...I wasn't even looking to experience Him, or His angels, or the Presence, outside of church. Maybe my understanding didn't even leave room for Him to be in the humdrum of my life. My life was sort of compartmentalized...I knew He was with me, but I had to work at drumming up an experience...or go someplace where others had done the work so that I could just enjoy it. Because there must be work, after all. God wouldn't just drop His presence on us for no reason, would he?

I see now from a different perspective. I see now how religious I had become. I see how I had allowed a little bit of the Old Testament perspective to creep into my understanding. God was in a building on Sunday mornings. He was in that church, instead of in "The Church" the one He said He would build upon Peter's revelation of Jesus, the Christ, the Liberating King (which is what Christ really means). This Liberating King who is alive, and everywhere!! He really is... everywhere! He is in the dark alley with the drug addict, He is in the bar with the alcoholic, He is in the gala events of the rich and famous, and He is most definitely in the hallway playing ball with my grandson and me! And He invites us to see Him, and to experience Him...everywhere! We don't have to get  discouraged when our loved ones aren't attending Sunday morning meetings with us. We can experience God with them, right where they are! What if we took them to breakfast on a Sunday morning, what if we missed a church service, to "be" the church...in service?

This is the Jesus revealed to us!! He cannot be contained inside any church walls, because that is not where He came! He came to us, the outsiders. He came to weddings, and funerals, and parties, and beaches and yes...He came to the Temple meetings as well. But let's not get so caught up being insiders, let's not be so focused on church that we miss Him everywhere else. Jesus is there, if we learn to look for Him, just as he was with us before our eyes were opened.

A baby...in a manger. Because there was no room for Him inside, He came to us "outside". I pray that no matter where I may end up spending my Sunday mornings, I always remember that I am an outsider...and God is...every where I go.